My Most Favorite Salad Dressing

Smoosh the avocado into balsamic vinegar to taste, add salt.

Note:  There is only a before picture because it doesn't look as appetizing as it tastes.  I mean, it's basically a brown gross mess.  But SO DELICIOUS.

They make white balsamic, perhaps that would be a better choice.

Lovely Fresh Avocado!

And then you add vinegar...

And it ends up looking like rancid guacamole.  But tastes fantastic!

I Don't Like Kale Chips

Last weekend I realized that there are just some things that I don't get.  Not things that I don't like, per se, but things I don't understand.  This is distinct from things I don't think people should like - dumb things, or annoying things, or harmful things.  Or things that I find gross.  Or things that... anyway, the difference is that I kind of wish I could understand.  There is a special understanding that other people have with this thing, and I am a bit in awe of it, because it is incomprehensible.  I just don't get it.

Anyway, last weekend, it was Belle and Sebastian.  (Ok, that joke will land with like, 0.05% of the people who might stumble upon my blog, so if you were one of them, please enjoy it thoroughly.)

This weekend, it is Kale Chips.  No one will shut up about kale chips.  Everyone loves them.

But I don't get it.  It is just kale?  Dehydrated kale?  That's kind of crispy?

So I actually made some kale chips last night - a final shot to see what the fuss is about.  I was underwhelmed.  I ate them all, because I was taught not to waste your leafy greens, but I didn't really enjoy them.  I didn't think "wow, this is so cool."

It is just kale.  Dehydrated kale.  And I don't get it.

So next time I will do what I always do with kale... put it in anything.  That is the true beauty of kale - you can literally squeeze it in to every dish you're thinking of making, and it would improve the nutrition.  Maybe even the taste.

When looking at my brainstorm of upcoming dishes I'd like to make, the single thing on the list that I would not add kale to is Creme Brulee... which I probably won't even make.  (Mostly because I don't have a torch.  Or ramekins.  Actually, I might have 2 ramekins?  Maybe I should go for it.)  This means that I WOULD put it in:
Tacos
Corn Chowder
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Vegetable Broth
Salad

Those are the only things I'm thinking of making right now, otherwise the list would be longer.

(And for the record, Creme Brulee is ALWAYS on my "things I might feel like cooking this week" list, because it is pretty much the most delicious dessert I've ever had.)

Borscht for Lazy People

It's actually not that I've been lazy lately.  It's that I've been uninspired, even by my own genius.

But I made borscht, which is boring, and not blog-worthy.  I make borscht whenever I have beets - my favorite vegetable - and am too lazy to make risotto.  Except today I noticed something very not boring - even something very interesting - in my bowl.  Color!  I know - borscht is always 'colorful'.  It is magenta. (And it turns other things magenta!)  But this was color other than the typical deep magenta of beet soup.

There were little orange splashes of color swirling around amongst the other vegetable shreds.  How lively!  But, how did that happen?

I neglected to mention there are also beans.

So I thought about what it could be.  Two of the beets were white like radishes, could those have absorbed the persistent dye less vigorously?  Seems unlikely.  But one was golden - could that golden beet have resisted permeation by it's persistent relatives?  Also unlikely.

So I spent my lunch admiring the bright orange spots and trying to remember what I shredded in the food processor last night.  After chopping one onion I was ready for bed, so I pulled down the processor and sorted through the fridge, throwing more and more vegetables through the shredder.  First it was the beets - some golden, some white, peeled in advance.  And then I pulled out the green cabbage - cabbage is delicious, but also pretty passive.  It does not provide color.  Ever.  Although it is delicious in macaroni and cheese.  And I was going to add some greens but never got around to it (fine!  I admit it!  I'm lazy!) but I did go looking for zucchinis to make zucchini bread.  I didn't have any true zucchinis left though - just a big yellow summer squash, and two patty pans.  Those made it into the shredder too.  But yellow squash, green squash, any squash just turns magenta in borscht, right?

Except that those paddy pans.... those patty pans have that nice, waxy exterior.  Waxy... like... a coating.  A coating that wouldn't let in much external moisture.  Like beet dye in beet broth!  So that must be what is coloring my borscht - the nice waxy exterior of the paddy pan squash.  Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the paddy pan.  They're too cute.  I don't like cute food.  I like deeply flavored serious food.

But here, they're kind of nice.  There's something odd about borscht - how it is so colorful but monotonously so.  So bright!  But without variation.  So.  Boring.


** I updated to include a photo, because this is the 21st century and just describing color is not enough.  Also I figured I should include an actual recipe, since that's kind of the point of the blog.

Borscht for when you're feeling lazy.
In your largest soup pot...
heat 1 T olive oil over medium heat
Add:
1 medium onion, diced, cook until kind of mushy and translucent and starting to brown
Add:
8 shredded beets
1 huge shredded summer squasy
3 shredded patty pan squashes
1 medium head shredded cabbage
Add water to cover.  Bring to boil, simmer until delicious.
Add 6 cups cooked beans (or fewer, I really like beans)
Add one stalk of dill, a lot of salt, and cider vinegar to taste.

Makes enough to drown a baby... or at least dye the baby bright magenta temporarily.