Biscuits & Gravy

Gravy is delicious.  And generally not good for you - traditionally it is fat mixed with gluten and then fatty meaty broth is added to it.  So it's fatty broth thickened with fat.  If that sounds appealing, maybe you should stop reading and go eat some gravy.  Because *this* gravy is none of those things.

In fact, when my sister asked for the gravy recipe I was talking about yesterday, I really had no idea what she was talking about.  This isn't really gravy.

I made a very, very, very large batch yesterday, and I didn't measure anything, so here is an approximation.

Step One:  The Rice Cooker
Cook a pound of white beans in the rice cooker.  I have been completely infatuated with my rice cooker since the first time I thought to try to cook beans in it.  I just threw them in with some water, hit the 'brown rice' button, and it beeped at me later, to reveal incredibly well cooked beans.  Very soft, perfect for pureeing - probably more perfect for pureeing than a can of beans.  But still had a bit of firmness.  Anyway, well cooked beans is step one.

Step Two:  The Food Processor
Okay.  I took out one cup of beans to add to the turnip soup I was making, and then threw the rest of them (drained, but not perfectly) in the food processor with one veg bouillon cube (I have a favorite brand now, they are powdery rather than sticky), and some seasoning.  I'm not sure what all I put in there or in what quantity, but I recommend a lot of spice.  I really did just grab random things off the spice shelf - I can't really taste spice, so I just tried to keep it in the category I would describe very generically as "Savory European" in case someone else ate it.  I do think there are spices that add umami - rosemary, sage, and thyme come to mind.  Maybe fennel, too.  (There are debates about glutamates that I don't wish to add to - I am just saying I cannot smell spice, but I can taste a savoriness.)
Acceptable inclusions:
Black Pepper
Sage
Fennel (I think of fennel as a "sausage" seasoning, which makes it good here)
Oregano (eh) or Marjoram (equal)
Thyme (I couldn't find mine!)
Basil (only in VERY SMALL quantity - otherwise too sweet.  I didn't include any for this reason, but I know you're going to want to, so fine.)
Rosemary (just a pinch)
Tarragon might be good?  I wouldn't add it, though.

Olive oil: you need to add some.  Maybe 1/4 cup.

Tamari.  Do not forget to add Tamari.  Traditional gravy is naturally very salty.  This tastes much better when you get your salts balanced out by adding Tamari.

If you turn off your food processor and it resembles hummus rather than gravy, add more liquid (including maybe some more oil.)

Once that's all blended up, you get to the (what now seems unnecessary) option third step, Tempeh.

Step Three: Tempeh.
Boil your tempeh for ten minutes, then crumble it and mix it (by hand, not blended) into the gravy.
As I was making this happen last night I kept thinking to myself "why am I adding more beans to a bean mixture?  Is this really necessary?"  And it is delicious.

This makes A LOT of servings - I spread some on toast with a spatula for dinner, put 2 servings in the fridge for meals this week, and then froze about ten more servings.  I freeze them in bags I can cut open, and place the chunk o' gravy on two slices of frozen bread, and bake for thirty minutes to produce perfect, crispy toast covered in a delightful bean gravy.

Yum.