Best Bean Chili Chilli Chile

I never know how to spell it when I'm making this delicious soup.

This is one of the times where I'm simply updating my recipe (b)log so I don't forget what I put in the pot, and I can replicate it in the future, because I will want to make it again.  This will be a quick post because for Last Dinner of The Year I'm making three kinds of gluten free gnocchi (with a Puttanesca and probably at least one other sauce) for dinner, followed by Baked Alaska... and I also am making an Icebox cake for tomorrow, which needs 24 hours to set so I need to bake those icebox cookies that are firming in the fridge before I start dinner... but I'm eating lunch!  Oh crap, I'm also supposed to put out some teff to sour because we're having injera tomorrow with our Ethiopian food...
And because of all of this, I forgot I was going to make this soup until 11:45, so I threw all of these things in the pressure cooker and made soup.  I was eating by 12:45, I think.  Pretty exciting, really.

We've been pressure cooking beans for 12 minutes and it has been working - but after 12 minutes at pressure, the black beans were still a bit firm.  In fact, I am eating a bowl as I write this, after reattaining pressure and cooking for an additional 5 minutes, and they're still pretty firm.  But delicious.  I think 17 minutes to begin would be the perfect amount of time - I also had to quick-release the pressure, which means you have to cook at pressure a little longer.

I threw these things in the pot:
7 cups of water
2 1/2 cups dried black beans
2 cans (14.5 oz) organic diced tomatoes
about 1/2 cup shiitake mushroom powder (made while back by putting dried mushrooms into a coffee grinder)
3 T GF redued sodium Tamari
maybe 2 T of oregano
and maybe 1.5 T of cumin (I measured most things.  Wait, no, barely any.)
2/3 c millet
1/2 c walnuts, chopped in the food processor
a generous glob of olive oil.

And then, because I was in a hurry, instead of using chili powder or chilies, I found a can of Chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, and put 12 into the small bowl of my food processor with the sauce that dripped off of them and three onions, trimmed and cut in half.  I guess, to continue listing things I threw into the pressure cooker pot, it would be:

12 chopped chipotle chiles in adobo sauce
3 chopped onions.

I think that was it.  Oh, I threw in some garlic salt because we are out of garlic.

And it is delicious.

Apple Pie and a Coconut Milk PSAs

When selecting which can of coconut to buy at the grocery store, these are the proper steps to take.
Step One: Determine that what you are buying is coconut milk
This is a quick ingredients check - the only acceptable ingredients are coconut and water.  Sometimes the can will tell you what % of the can is coconut, sometimes it will list coconut solids as an ingredient - that's all fine.  We don't care, as long as there isn't anything but coconut and water.  The calorie check in the next step replaces your interest in the percent of coconut solids.
Step Two: Determine how many calories are in each can of coconut milk
There are two methods.  You can multiply the calories per serving by the number of servings... but servings are often approximate.  (For example an 11 oz can might say a serving is 3 oz and that there are about 3.5 servings, but that's only 10.5 oz!  And now you're missing calories.)  I like to do the more complex method to determine how many calories are in an ounce (divide calories per serving by number of ounces in a serving) and then multiply by the number of ounces that are in the can.  Now that you know how many calories are in the can, your instinct should be to buy the can with the most calories, not the one with the least!  But first factor in cost.
Step Three:  Determine your calories per dollar
I don't consider tax - I don't like to over-complicate things.  (Obviously.)  I think of this measurement as the cost per calories, but if you do the math that way, the number is too small to feel significant.  For example, for $3.69 I can buy a can of coconut milk that contains 860 calories.  The cost per calorie is .043 cent ($.0043) - less than half a penny.  So I figure out calories per dollar instead - about 233 calories/$1.00 - not bad.

Regardless, when purchasing coconut milk always buy the can with the most calories per dollar!  If your recipe calls for lite coconut milk, you should find a new recipe.  Or if you really like that recipe, you can water it down, but no one will thank you.

Also, just another PSA here - If you're not bringing a calculator to the grocery store, you're doing it wrong.  If you don't know how to pull up a calculator on your phone, I can't talk to you anymore.  That being said, I usually do the approximate math in my head.  For fun.  Because usually there's a pretty clear winner early on and you don't have to actually count pennies.  Or, you buy your coconut milk at the same grocery store you always buy coconut milk at, so you already know which one is going to win and you're just doing the math for fun.

Relatedly, anyone who tells a child they don't need algebra as an adult is lying.  People who don't use algebra on the regular are living horrible boring lives.  Algebra is always useful and - more importantly - it is always fun!

Anyway.  I got off topic.  My sister had this recipe marked in a library book.  I was skeptical, because it is called dessert, but there is no sugar.  But the coconut milk is plenty sweet and I think the fattiness makes up for it.  Just like how when you take your beaters and bowl out of the freezer to start whipping your heavy cream, you might take out the sugar, too, thinking you'll probably end up adding some, but once you taste it you forget all thoughts of adding sugar.  (Whoa, if you're adding sugar to your whipped cream we need to have another talk.)

Here is a recipe for pie, not whipped cream:

Ingredients:

crust:
1/2 c teff flour
1/2 c almond flour
5 T coconut oil (approx)

filling:
2 apples
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 t cinnamon

for the crumble:
2 T almond flour

Oven to 350
Start with the crust - the only way to do this is with your hands, adding coconut oil very slowly until the crust just sticks together.  I've made this about five times now, and I recommend .
I have a big flat tart plan, but I prefer to make this in my set of two pot-pie pans - they're really deep with a small diameter.  I divide the dough into two and shape it in my hands to be a flat disc, and shape it into the bottom and around the edges of the pan.  If you add too much oil, the dough slides down to the bottom.  I'd say you could chill it and then try again, but no one likes to wait for dessert, and plus the final product will be too oily.
Throw the crust into the oven for about ten minutes while you prepare the filling.

Peel and chop your apples, mix in the cinnamon, and then pour on the coconut milk and mix thoroughly.  Taste.  Just because it's delicious.

Take your crust out of the oven and fill it to overflowing with apple goodness, bake about an hour.  Oh!  Don't forget to put 1/4 c of almond meal on the top for crunchiness!  I always forget, it doesn't really matter.

If you are sure it is done before the hour is up, that's fine.  But you should know, you're probably wrong, this is best when the apples are mushy.  But I get it - I mean, it's also best when you let it cool down to almost room temperature.  So.  Good luck with that.  It really is delicious, I swear.

No one wants sugar in there pie anymore.

Simpler Than A Box of Mac & Cheese - Macaroni and Yogurt Sauce

I think it is Annie's Mac & Cheese that has a little tip under the instructions saying something like, "for a low-fat variation, replace the milk and butter with 1/2 cup of yogurt!"

This is simultaneously the smartest suggestion anyone has ever made, and the dumbest thing ever.  It is only dumb, though, because you should ALWAYS make boxed Mac & Cheese with yogurt instead of milk/butter/margarine/whatever insane ingredients it calls for.  Just whisk that powdery packet in with yogurt, and you get a smooth sauce that is the perfect consistency and has an added tang.  It is actually better tasting.  And it is my favorite way to eat yogurt (OK, maybe second favorite, after Baked Oatmeal.)

This tangy sauce discovery reminded me of making beef stroganoff with my mom a few decades ago.  I think in that case it may've been sour cream that made the sauce tangy.  Also, I don't remember liking it.  (Although that could have been the beef?)  But I thought I would try a sauce like that - take a powdery vegetable bullion cube and whisk it into yogurt.  See how it turns out.

But at the grocer the brand of bullion I would buy was gone... so I puzzled out a solution after wandering around the grocery store.

And I will never buy boxed Mac and Cheese again.

Here are some instructions:

Boil some water.
While waiting for the water, whisk some romano cheese into half a cup of yogurt.  I recommend full fat greek yogurt, I recommend a hard cheese that melts quickly or doesn't need to melt - the fresh grated romano I used was perfect.  But you have to be careful because if you heat the yogurt it will separate - this is actually the difficult thing about mac & cheese in general.  Anyway.
Clean and trim some brocolli - macaroni and cheese without vegetables is gross.
Add your pasta to the water (please use 100% whole grain pasta, if it is made of quinoa that's fine, if it is made out of rice it should be brown rice, if it is made out of corn... eh, I'm not sure if that's food.  If it is made out of whole grain wheat, that's cool.  If it is made out of white flour you should know that that isn't food.)
When the pasta is nearly done add the veggies to steam.  Then drain it all and return it to the pot immediately.  Add your yogurt cheese mixture and stir it up.

It's not the best when it gets cold.  But it is delicious when it is hot.  And it is better than most mac and cheese, and it doesn't have butter or flour or a ton of cheese, and it is tangy and delicious.

Carrot Cake.

cake:
1 cup rolled oats processed in the food processor.
1/2 c almond flour (didn't measure almonds before food processing).
6 carrots (they were yellow, not orange, so this cake looks funny) put in the food processor because the shredding blade didn't work, so they were kind of pureed.  but raw.
1/2 c almond milk and 1/2 c water (would've used all almond milk but i was running low)
1/4 c olive oil
1/4 c sugar (i used actual sugar.  in the future i will use pitted dates instead.)
1 t baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
1 t cinnamon (i can taste cinnamon, i think.)

frosting:
almonds, probably about 2 cups sliced.
frozen blueberries, almost an entire bag
some lemon juice (to give it a little curdle - you know, the tart cream cheese thing.  plus lemon is good with blueberry, yes?)

will it turn out?  i'm eating the frosting by the spoonful, the cake is in the oven, we will see.

Biscuits & Gravy

Gravy is delicious.  And generally not good for you - traditionally it is fat mixed with gluten and then fatty meaty broth is added to it.  So it's fatty broth thickened with fat.  If that sounds appealing, maybe you should stop reading and go eat some gravy.  Because *this* gravy is none of those things.

In fact, when my sister asked for the gravy recipe I was talking about yesterday, I really had no idea what she was talking about.  This isn't really gravy.

I made a very, very, very large batch yesterday, and I didn't measure anything, so here is an approximation.

Step One:  The Rice Cooker
Cook a pound of white beans in the rice cooker.  I have been completely infatuated with my rice cooker since the first time I thought to try to cook beans in it.  I just threw them in with some water, hit the 'brown rice' button, and it beeped at me later, to reveal incredibly well cooked beans.  Very soft, perfect for pureeing - probably more perfect for pureeing than a can of beans.  But still had a bit of firmness.  Anyway, well cooked beans is step one.

Step Two:  The Food Processor
Okay.  I took out one cup of beans to add to the turnip soup I was making, and then threw the rest of them (drained, but not perfectly) in the food processor with one veg bouillon cube (I have a favorite brand now, they are powdery rather than sticky), and some seasoning.  I'm not sure what all I put in there or in what quantity, but I recommend a lot of spice.  I really did just grab random things off the spice shelf - I can't really taste spice, so I just tried to keep it in the category I would describe very generically as "Savory European" in case someone else ate it.  I do think there are spices that add umami - rosemary, sage, and thyme come to mind.  Maybe fennel, too.  (There are debates about glutamates that I don't wish to add to - I am just saying I cannot smell spice, but I can taste a savoriness.)
Acceptable inclusions:
Black Pepper
Sage
Fennel (I think of fennel as a "sausage" seasoning, which makes it good here)
Oregano (eh) or Marjoram (equal)
Thyme (I couldn't find mine!)
Basil (only in VERY SMALL quantity - otherwise too sweet.  I didn't include any for this reason, but I know you're going to want to, so fine.)
Rosemary (just a pinch)
Tarragon might be good?  I wouldn't add it, though.

Olive oil: you need to add some.  Maybe 1/4 cup.

Tamari.  Do not forget to add Tamari.  Traditional gravy is naturally very salty.  This tastes much better when you get your salts balanced out by adding Tamari.

If you turn off your food processor and it resembles hummus rather than gravy, add more liquid (including maybe some more oil.)

Once that's all blended up, you get to the (what now seems unnecessary) option third step, Tempeh.

Step Three: Tempeh.
Boil your tempeh for ten minutes, then crumble it and mix it (by hand, not blended) into the gravy.
As I was making this happen last night I kept thinking to myself "why am I adding more beans to a bean mixture?  Is this really necessary?"  And it is delicious.

This makes A LOT of servings - I spread some on toast with a spatula for dinner, put 2 servings in the fridge for meals this week, and then froze about ten more servings.  I freeze them in bags I can cut open, and place the chunk o' gravy on two slices of frozen bread, and bake for thirty minutes to produce perfect, crispy toast covered in a delightful bean gravy.

Yum.

Turnip Soup

Last week for turnips at the farmers market, or so I was told.  I looked at a couple of recipes that called for miso and tahini and lemon.  I left out lemon, and added greens.

This had a rich and deep flavor that was unlike anything I've tasted recently.  I think it was the miso.  I found two tubs of miso in the fridge, one of them expired in 2012.  I threw that out.  The other was unopened.  I think I've only had miso once in the last few months, and it wasn't anything to write home about.  Maybe the key to delicious food is to not eat expired things, after all.

2 bunches turnips, greens kept, cleaned, and chopped
4 c water
1 c white beans
1/4 c miso
1/4 c tahini
tamari to taste
brown rice, cooked


Boil turnips in water for 15 minutes, take out a 1/4 c of the cooking liquid to whisk with the miso, add the tahini and whisk, then pour it back in, adding your beans and greens.  The greens will be done quickly, season to taste with Tamari, serve over brown rice.  Makes 4 servings.

Baked Oatmeal, Redux

I eat this almost every day, sometimes twice a day.  I already have this recipe blogged on here, but this is the updated version from memory - it is simpler and makes oatmeal twice as thick!  I cut it into 8 pieces, which is a generous breakfast serving rather than the smaller version previously blogged.

2 c (or a 15 oz container) greek yogurt (for the protein!)
2 c unsweetened soy or almond milk
4 c rolled oats
1/4 c ground flax seed
1 t salt
1 t baking powder
1/2 baking soda
1 t cinnamon
enough frozen fruit to cover the bottom of a baking dish.
OPTIONAL: 1 c almonds, chopped in the food processor.

Mix the dry ingredients, pour on the soy milk and the yogurt, mix it up.  If it breakfast time now, eat some batter in a bowl with some frozen fruit!
Otherwise, cover your baking sheet with frozen fruit, cover that layer with the oatmeal mixture, bake at 350 for one hour.

Pad Ki Mao, the Drunkard's noodle

Commonly called Drunken Noodles, they really are named after the people who are consuming them.  Drunkard's.  I read somewhere that they are salty and spicy but without a ton of flavor, because drunks don't have an amazing palate, they just really like salty spicy food.  Myself?  I'm a big fan of salty, spicy food, and losing my sense of smell made my palate pretty simple.

This is my go-to Thai order, and I recently acquired a Thai delivery addiction, and the only cure for the addiction seemed to be to make it myself at home.

Here's how it goes:
Boil some water.  While waiting for the boil, get out some tofu, an onion, a jalapeno (or a thai chili if you have it), maybe a bell pepper, whatever vegetables are on hand that might be good in this dish.  And a ripe tomato.  The tomato is your key ingredient.

Timing is key: you should throw your rice noodles into the boiling water, turn off the heat and cover it, right at the moment the oil in your wok is hot enough to start.  Hot.  Not medium.  Not Medium-high.  High.

First I throw in the cubed tofu, and I chop my onion into wide wedges while stirring the tofu occasionally and then throw in the onion.  Then the jalapeno, and other vegetables.  Tomato last.  You should be constantly stirring in between chops, and the moment you add your tomato you should pull your rice noodles pan off the stove and rinse them in cold water.

Drain the noodles well, then throw them in the pan and sprinkle them with soy sauce to taste.  (I use a lot.)  If your jalapeno wasn't hot enough, you can also add some garlic chili paste.  Stir.  Cook.  Stir.  When it looks like drunken noodles, you're ready to eat.

Sometimes I joke that my favorite Thai restaurant can deliver faster than I can boil rice noodles.  But this dish is pretty quick to cook.  My favorite quick dinner.

Quinoa Curry

This basic dish became my go-to once I realized that post-losing-my-sense-of-smell I loved all spicy things and all things involving coconut milk.  I couldn't find rice that day, and quinoa is better for you anyway.  Immensely adjustable (no beans? throw in some lentils.  Whatever vegetables you have work.  I ran out of curry paste so I through in 1/4 cup of Ethiopian berbere seasoning and that was great, too.)

I once was trying to get rid of some oregano, or maybe some cumin, I don't know, and I threw that in.  Tasted fine to me, but everyone else thought it was disgusting.  I learned a lesson.


2/3 c quinoa
2 c water
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 can coconut milk
1 veg bouillon cube
1.5 c cooked beans
4-6 c frozen vegetables
1/2 can thai curry paste of your choosing, or any other spice mixture you have, to taste.

Throw everything but the vegetables into the slow cooker.  Turn it on.  Check it later.  If the quinoa is cooked, add the vegetables, stir, put the cover back on, and leave it on for another 1/2 hour or so.  Alternatively, turn off the slow cooker and check it much later.